Celebrating Artist & Upstarts
_________________________________________________________________
 | |  | |  | |  | |  |
| If you ever feel stupid, then just read on, because if you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers. |
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more
refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more
refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in
hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or
French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats
are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are
square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea
nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write
but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and
hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural
of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one
moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that
you can make amends but not one amend. If
you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid
of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it
an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what
does a humanitarian eat? In what language do
people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have
noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites? You have to marvel at the unique
lunacy of a language in which your house can
burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a
form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm
goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the human race,
which, of course, is not a race at all. That is
why, when the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or
French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats
are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are
square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea
nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write
but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and
hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural
of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one
moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that
you can make amends but not one amend. If
you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid
of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it
an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what
does a humanitarian eat? In what language do
people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have
noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites? You have to marvel at the unique
lunacy of a language in which your house can
burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a
form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm
goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the human race,
which, of course, is not a race at all. That is
why, when the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
| How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. |
| Free Radicals |
English 4 the Brave |
| By Brown Eyed Girl1111 |
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass
drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes
.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about
how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does
are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down
into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer
taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the
sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw
got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I
shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series
of tests
21) How can I intimate this to my most
intimate friend?
| ________________________________ |
| Brown Eyed Girl 1111 is a Arizona Free Radical |
Click to
Continue
Continue